Tuesday, 30 June 2015


I had to keep the sarcasm business at bay for this post. Actually, for days (in fact, almost a year!) one strange thing has been disturbing me. And that strange thing is just a mere alarm….Shocked? Me too!

We have a small touch screen phone which works perfectly well but every time the clock strikes 8:00 PM it gives out that tan-tan-tanan-tanan sound, and it never stops till we press on to the stop button for about 10-15 seconds…I know this is not strange, I mean, this happens with every other alarm that you set on your phone.
But the ghostly part of the story is that we never set that alarm! And when I went to alarms icon all the alarms were turned off! Still, I deleted all the alarms, reminders, check-list reminders, timers and almost everything I was capable of deleting…just to be 101% sure.
The next thing I did was to grin and wait eagerly for the clock to strike eight.
But alas! That broad grin was destined to fade away as the relentless tan-tan-tanan-tanan again made its way out of that irksome device.
Irritated, I picked up the phone and pressed that reset-settings button. Every setting in the phone was reset from sound settings to call settings…EVERYTHING!
With some hope left I waited for next day…what happened?

That silly thing beeped again…
After experimenting with it a hundred more times I had no choice left but to surrender...
I noticed some days back that it displays ALARM 3; 6:30 PM on the screen when that thing beeps. When all the alarms are deleted and settings are restored then how come alarm 3? And what does 6:30 PM mean anyway? 

The thing is, that we are helpless. Every day at 8 we have to run like morons all around the house in search of that mobile to stop that beeping sound…

PLEASE go through your phone directories and dig out the number of R.L Stine or Mr. Sherlock homes from somewhere.
Only they can help me to solve this freakish mystery now…

OH NO! NOT AGAIN! This is driving me nuts!
Its 8:00 PM!
Got to rush…

Thursday, 18 June 2015


“Oh! Actually, that day my dolly didn’t even touch her plate! She was making those awful faces…I couldn’t stand that. I mean, it’s very important for her to have her meals at time. At last, I gave up and brought maggi noodles for her…that Rs.10 packet was for Rs.50! So costly! But children are always my priority…he...he…” said a caring mother who fed her daughter on lead and MSG just because little dolly wasn’t ready to have her lunch! Moral- ‘feeding your child on poison is much better than letting them skip a meal’… totally outrageous! And unfortunately, this incidence is true…some people just don’t care...do they? They think maybe those people are morons who have put a ban on maggi noodles and it’s just like another hypocritical speech given by the politicians.
Who is being a moron here?

Narendra Modi, one of the most trending politicians, led a cleanliness campaign because of which some insane folks like me think twice before losing their grip to throw an ice-cream stick on the ground… but I also got the chance to meet some supremely ‘sane’ people who love comfortable life. Throwing a big cardboard box down a small public drain and throwing a packet of chips out of the car window are some examples of their overflowing sanity. I know, I don’t have the guts to speak up and make them a little insane like the rest of us but my mom knows the job just perfectly! 
Some time back, in a supermarket my mother was standing at the billing counter and an ill-fated lady was standing just in front of her relishing a vanilla ice-cream. As my mother predicted, she threw her tissue paper on the floor and then my bold woman spoke up… ‘People like you only make our country dirty and then say that all those cleanliness drives were just a piece of crap, pick that up now!’. After suffering from a shock she obediently picked up the tissue and threw it in the dustbin.
 I just hope that she must have got her own little epiphany moment after meeting my mother! 
Often I see those ads in the newspapers and T.V requesting people to pay house tax and income tax. Still these people who own black money excluding their high income don’t show up when it’s time to pay their taxes. Then these people also curse the government for increasing service tax and railway fare; their instant verdict will always be - “oh! That new government is good for nothing”… have they ever figured out where the government will get money from? They want free primary education and free libraries; don’t they understand that politicians don’t sponsor their money for the country?

Don’t eat Maggi noodles, don’t litter around, please pay your taxes on time and GO ON, BREAK SOME RULES (some only!) AND HAVE FUN! 


Internet was invented to make virtual communication possible, but now that objective is gradually strangling languages and making life hell for some people like me who stay in a cocoon and are still unknown to internet abbreviations. This is the reason why I had to spend about half an hour researching on the internet before writing this post…I’m not that genius you know!

I have not joined facebook yet and one of the main reasons behind it is the maddening short forms people are using nowadays. About one year back, I joined a social networking site just to try my hands on it. Just as I expected, the experience was pathetic! It had chat room system, I started chatting to a girl and this is how our conversation followed…

Cracxqueen76- sup?  (What’s up?)
Quite confused I answered after a minute or two.

Me- sup? What’s “sup”?

Cracxqueen76- fine…wbu? sup?  (Fine… what about you? What’s up?)

Me- sorry, I totally can’t understand what you are trying to say!

Cracxqueen76- oh! thos r jst ABBR’s… (Those are just abbreviations)

Me- I think I must get offline. My head is paining already. Anyways, nice to meet you!

Cracxqueen76- wut? Y?  (What? Why?)

I quickly rushed for that red Cross up there at the right side of the screen…phew! After that I didn’t open that site for days. I mean, what else could you expect from a girl who knew nothing except LOL? But really, we need to ask ourselves if this is what we are going to pass on to our future generations. A research performed by Amanda Lenhart showed that almost two-third of the children in the states used internet abbreviations while doing homework…what more are we waiting for?
Now, lets look at the transformation of the largely used sentence “What are you doing?”

It was too long for chats so people devised… “What’s goin’ on?”

Then, “what’s up?”

When people still couldn’t stand the load of this weak and undernourished question, they zeroed to… “Sup?”

BREAKING NEWS- recently it has been reported that some young and dedicated scientists are trying to break this 3-lettered question into something simpler, so that chatting becomes easier and faster than before…three cheers to easy and revolutionized communication… hip, hip…Hooray!

If this shortcut culture continues then soon a lesson called “abbreviations” will be added to English grammar books along with the old and conventional lessons like verbs, nouns, adjectives etc…Oh my god! That thought is really dreadful!
Oh! I can’t stand it anymore! These short forms could prove to be blight on the purity of languages. I think I would like to grab a nice English literature classic with my hot cappuccino. That may just calm me down for now.